Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Strangers : Therapy - II

Striking a conversation with strangers is never easy. It feels kind of odd, you never know how the other person is taking it, then of course there is the issue of invading someone Else's space, privacy, zone. Any attempts to conversation run the risk of being blown off in no time.

And yet, once is a while comes a stranger who you can talk to you. The complex shortlisting of "The Stranger" is an unexplained phenomena, an obscure inexact science (or is it an art?). Part I guess is the instincts figuring out in the sub conscious that a person is 'your type'. the other of course is the body language, the moods, state of mind, circumstances, life situation, etc. Once you talk, you get a glimpse into the other person which at times compels you to dig deeper.

A stranger, bright enough to understand, a good conversationalist, attentive and appreciative of what you say - and most critically if you can trust the person - A deep long conversation with such a person can be an healing experience - an amazing form of Therapy. With such a rare person, you can talk and be your true self - without the fear of being judged, better still, figure out what is your true self, that which has been tarnished by the constant grease paint and role play in life, roles and relationships.

Its not that we can't talk to people who we love, admire and are close to, our friends, family, role models. Of course we do talk to them, have deep meaningful conversations with them, learn, relax and grow in the process. However with all relationships, there is an inherent sense of expectation, not so much as to do something or live up to something - but more like a mental map of yourself in the other person's mind and usually you end you reinforcing that image and etching it deeper. The image is not bad per say but can be stifling when you want to explore other facets of self. You don't how the other person will react if they see something that they are not accustomed to, hear something that they don't associate with you, experience something about you which was never a part of the possibilities in their opinion. The reaction can range from a wow!, to a disappointment or a sense of let down! You can't always risk it.

Enter the stranger - there is no prior association. There are no expectations to fulfill, no roles to play, no images to sustain, no fear of disapproval, no sense of duty. You can simply bounce ideas without the fear of sticking it in. You end up vocalizing some of your innermost thoughts and feelings, frequently surprising your yourself in the process. Oftentimes, the surprise is due to the fact that the thoughts had been hidden even from your own self and you never realized they existed!

Over a period of time, as you interact, the stranger fades away away and you gain a friend and ...


Pushuka said...

If the whole "IT revolution" thing goes south, you're very well equipped to begin in an alternate profession... as a Behavior Analyst or some like that... :)

Some random thoughts said...

Thanks Pushkar.

Its nice but (very) embarassing. I had started writing this stuff to jot down and clear any passing thoughts.

Its a big compliment when someone actually takes out to read this stuff.

I am overwhelmed with all the responses I have received.