Classification of people

- those who look for diamonds
- those who look for shiny stones that they can easily pass as diamonds
- those who look for shiny stones believing them to be diamonds
- those who look at diamonds as nothing but stones

Returning after a long gap ..

Only to realize that life in itself is always full ..
- sometimes with work and at other times with leisure ..

When the going gets tough ..

.. the tough gets going.

Have you ever noticed that the struggles, tough times, whatever you call them seem to have an affinity for the tough people, the people who can persevere and survive ..

.. or is it that only the tough survive these hardships where the others would have bailed out ..

.. or maybe this courage and perseverance is actually a weakness, agreeing to stay in difficult circumstances just because the threshold of tolerance of pain and difficulties is higher, just because they can still bear it, continuing with situations where quitting is preferred ..

.. who is to say what is courage .. at times it is living in pain and at others it is quitting the painful life and starting afresh ..

Normalization

When a personal falls on the fringes of the 'normal' curve, what is to be preferred?

Should the person wear a cloak of normalcy and hide the differences or continue to stay on the edges often making others and self uncomfortable in the process.

Life : Ups and Downs

Occured to me as I wrote a mail ..

Ups and Downs in life are a good indicator of the fact that life neither ignoring you, nor passing you by..

Games and Sports

Why is "Playing Games" bad but "Being a Sport" good?

Games are associated with more 'fun' and less 'competition' so why does "Playing Games" have a negative connotation?

Generation Gap : Another look

I had brought up generation gap earlier, this is another look at the same thing from a different vantage point. And they don't contradict :-)

People are in different stages of evolution (for want of a better word) at any point of time. I would like to think of them as :
- Dependence
- Independence
- Inter-dependence
- Indifference

Generation Gap is quite literally a Generation/Development Gap!

"Generation Gap" happens when two people happen to be in different 'evolutionary stages which leads to a conflict of values and differentiated view points.

As examples :
If I am at the stage/generation where I value Independence and the other person is at a stage/generation where they value Inter-Dependence, I would take every effort by the other person for a synergistic relationship or mutual dependence as a threat on my Independence and react sharply. This is what I think is a "Generation Gap". Once I grow and start believing in the benefits of synergies without fear or threat, I would behave differently and in the process overcome the gap.

Same goes for a young child - still very dependent and the parent who is independent. Here too there is mismatch in the developmental stages which could lead to a lack of understanding.

Generation gap is a natural process and wanes (or grows) with time and experience.

Tough choice..

Life often metes out unfair, tough choices ..

.. like the one between the tedium of not doing Vs the fatigue of over-doing
.. the balance is just a chimera ..

Shapes of food

Why is it called a "Square Meal"?
How does it fit in a not so square stomach?



Origin

Two sides of the same coin ..

People often use the phrase "Two sides of the same coin"

When they talk about the two sides they are essentially focusing on the surface area and overlooking the thickness/depth of the coin which gives the coin its weight and volume.

We need to learn to ignore the surface/superficial and start looking at the weight/depth of the matter.

Quick Thought

Its funny how for some people the definition of personal space is to be able to recede into their shell and for the others it is to go really far away, outside of their current existence.

The thing to note is that in both the cases the attempt is to go away from the current, the difference is only in the direction of the movement - inside or outside.

Pruning

RIFs, Lay-offs, Cost-cutting, by any name are painful.

The topic came back recently and had me thinking that they really are no different from pruning. People will have different opinions about whether or not it is required and they will have different views on how much and where to prune for best results. Needless to say too much pruning can kill the tree unceremoniously just like too little can be impact less.

There is no magic in pruning, a seasoned gardener know wheres to cut, how much to cut and also importantly the right season to cut so that the tree can flourish after such a severe impact.

What about the branches that are shed? so thanklessly cast away?

If the severed branch is strong and healthy and are capable of growing from 'cuttings' this gives them an opportunity to grow into independent trees rather than branches of a dying tree.

If they happen to find an accomplished gardener, they might be 'grafted' into another tree growing 'hybrid' exotic plants; better and more useful that either the base tree or the branch which is grafted.

A cut is a disruptive event, it need not be destructive.

AC/DC

OK, so this one is really weird but I can't hep myself from penning this, so here goes..

There are tons of analogies for men and women, Martian and Venusians being a very popular one. How about AC and DC?

Women are like AC with lows and highs, peaks and pits, men by comparison more like DC and less fluctuating and more constant.

Points to ponder
- Debate about what is better, AC or DC would never cease
- AC has alternating polarity while DC has constant polarity
- AC magnitude and direction is variable while both are constant for DC voltage
- AC is easy to easy to step up or down
- AC current is capable of transformation (due to induced emf) unlike DC current
- AC current has more losses compared to DC
- Nothing can stop the AC, not even a straight wall .. eh .. capacitor

The clinching evidence ..
- AC currents can be more dangerous than similar levels of DC current since the alternating fluctuations can cause the heart to lose coordination
- Analysis of AC system always involved complex numbers, while DC is only a real number

One of my favorite analogies

I find that one of the best analogies of all time is that of the six blind men and the elephant.

Blind men think of an elephant as a pillar, rope, tree branch, fan, wall or pipe depending on which part of the elephant they touched. Each is right and yet at the same time also wrong. The concept of right and wrong is very much entwined with the context of relativity. What is right for one isn't necessary so for the other. So often, a part truth is actually closer to falsehood and causes more harm than good.

I find this analogy also applicable in the context of my work.

Eachdomain (Dev, QA, Docs, Marketing, Sales, PM - etc.) happen to be the (not so blind) men looking at the product from their perspective alone. Losing sight of the whole picture, sometimes by choice, sometimes otherwise. Each concentrates in understanding their part of the picture and executing on it really well. Frequently there are disagreements between teams because each comes from a different perspective depending on the function they have touched. Each team needs to get deep into their stuff and make it strong. The executive team needs to take a whole picture view and delineate the elephant (product) for what it is, not a sum of its part but much more complete whole.

On a side note, when Sr. Management goes deep into one aspects, it does so at the risk of losing the complete picture

When the domain experts start looking too much at the big picture/top view, they do so at the risk of leaving one aspect weak.

Nothing has changed..

Its been a year since I moved to my new job and nothing has changed.

I continue to miss my old place and am still in love with my (not so) new job. The two places continue to be as diametrically opposite as ever.

Its been quite a ride and I have survived so far .. and look forward to another year of roller-coaster fun ..

Opposites attract?

Some people we like because they are so much like us,
Some people we like because they are so different from us?

And the other way round works just as well, I know of many people who are very similar to me and yet I don’t fancy them too much, as well as people quite the opposite of me and those who I hold high in my regard.

It is neither a straightforward case of likes attracting or opposites complementing each other.

I guess this has more to do with the inherent qualities of a person rather than likes attracting or repelling.

If people exhibit traits similar to ours, but those qualities that we don’t care too much about, it’s a case of similar people not getting along well.
If people embody traits that we look up to, even though we might lack them ourselves, it’s a case of opposites attracting

Generation Gap

I wonder often about generation gap, its origin and impact.

A generation gap exists when different people (due to age, circumstances etc) have a different sense of responsibilities, privileges, values and behavior, both for themselves and for others.

I believe that these differences in themselves are harmless and what causes the conflict is duplicity of standards and applying different parameters for self and others.

In the traditional parent-teenager conflict, the parents have a different sense of what is right for them vs the kids. Its OK for them to eat junk food, drink, smoke whatever but they recoil at the thought of their kids emulating them. Same goes the other way round, if parents start dressing/behaving the way the kids do, kids would find it very embarrassing. Between siblings,
the youngsters want to enjoy the privilege of being spoilt and pampered and yet they do not want it to come with any strings attached, with any list of dos-and-donts or I-told-you-so. Elders on the other hand want the younger siblings to listen to them and do as they are told without letting them experiment and learn on their own like they did years ago.

The conflict arises when each side has a distinct image of how the other should behave and yet oddly they do not want to conform to the same image themselves. This duplicity is what causes the conflict, not the differences.

Parallax

Just occurred to me that parallax effect is not limited to the physical space. It is quite as applicable to the mental space.

So what is parallax?
The difference in appearance or position of an object when viewed from two different locations.

Impact of parallax?
- Observation is relative your position
- If you move, you perceive that the object under observation moves relative to you
- The difference in the angle of sight between the right eye and the left eye creates a parallax, our brain considers the parallax and gives a perception of depth perception.

Isn't it also true of our mental perceptions?
- We judge differently depending on our own positions.
- Our perceptions vary with time as we change or move on
- Most of all having contrasting view points (or eyes) gives us a better depth and understanding

Morals and Ethics

Is there a difference between the two?

I can sense a subtle but important difference by find it hard to verbalize and point out exactly.

The way I see it is (which could be totally off the mark)

Ethics : relate to code of conduct and the generally accepted good practices
Morals : relate to concept of what is right and wrong

Ethics guide as to what is acceptable to a group (company, society, country, family etc)
Morals are individual oriented and more ambiguous than ethics. What is 'moral' for one might not be so for another (take vegetarianism for e.g.)

Probably 'shared' set of morals over a period of time which get codified as ethics.

Elusive Nirvana

Life is a constant tug-of-war between belonging and standing apart.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is depicted as a pyramid (copied from Wikipedia) starting at Physiological -> Safety -> Love/Belonging -> Esteeem -> Self-Actualization.

Even though I don’t completely disagree with the theory, I don’t think it is as straight and simple as is depicted by a pyramid. My observations show that it is range of mountains to conquer rather than a peak to surmount.

Each starts off with their own pyramids to climb. Given that each of us is unique in our preferences, needs, circumstances, our pyramids differ. Each one has different footprints for the 5 components that make our needs (physiological, safety, love, esteem, self-actualization). We constantly strive to climb to the top of our pyramids. And yet, as we climb up, on the way and in the process, we change our circumstances, our environment, our needs and hence the pyramid itself. The pyramid is a dynamic entity.

To simplify, we start on our climb up, we acquire the basic needs and finally a sense of belonging to our environment. Once we belong, we immediately strive to be perceived as 'unique' - a class apart, probably this comes from trying to fulfill the need for 'esteem'. As we acquire a sense of esteem and associated uniqueness, we start disassociating ourselves from our current environment and start identifying with a different set of people/ class/ society/ circumstances. As the dissociation becomes stronger, we hop on to the new environment.

In the new environment with all its associated 'newness' and awkwardness (which is really a new or modified pyramid) we start the same cycle by trying hard to belong .. And then to prove that we are unique and finally un-belong by moving to a yet another pyramid.

This is the circle of life - two steps forward, one step back. The 'Nirvana' or "Self Actualization' remains for ever far and elusive.

Yoke and Yolk

Shuffling through my old stuff, caught an old analogy of mine ..

We all start with a fragile shell and a gooey yolk, depending on how life cooks us we end up being hard boiled, soft boiled, poached, scrambled or beaten!

There is nothing either weak or strong, but thinking makes it so ..

Who is to say what is a strength or a weakness? I have long noticed that my strengths are my weaknesses and my greatest weakness of times my biggest strengths. There are many who will give testimony to the fact that they cannot counter tears which are in fact a symbol of weakness and yet, in their own way also the person's strength.

Reminds me of the story of the mighty Oak tree vs a blade of grass. When put through a storm, the Oak is upright, resistant and finally uprooted, the grass bends but survives, who is to stay which is stronger? Stubbornness or resoluteness are both two sides of the same trait. It can be both a symbol of strength in sticking around in difficult situations and yet is also in some way a weakness at being inflexible. Knowledge is power but often I have realized that 'not knowing' is also a strength since it come with no preconceived ideas and is able to bring an fresh/individual perspective. So we fret at being only a mere generalist and lacking specialization that could set us apart, and yet, this generalization is also a value we bring to any task. It helps us see the overall view which gets missed by an expert deep inside in one area. And yet specialization mostly certainly is a strength in itself.

Strength and weakness depends on the particular circumstances, how it is applied and most of all in what it is believed to be - a strength or weakness.

Go with the flow

I am like a river, I have nothing of my own. What I get I pass on, no less, no more.

If I river passes on more water than it gets from the mountains it become dry and shrivelled, if it gets too much or keeps too much without passing on the gift, it swells and become obnoxious and destructive. It can take pride in bringing life and prosperity to all around its path and yet, it does nothing more than pass on the gift of the mountains and the glaciers. If the mountains take pride in filling up the river with sparking cool waters, it really does nothing but pass on what it gets from the skies. If the skies where to swell on showering the mountains with pure white snow, they do it only because of the infinite depth of the bitter, salty waters of the seas which boil over and fills the skies and makes life possible for everyone.

As with a river, so also with life. We need to go with the flow. When we get a gift, it is impossible to repay the person who helped us, it might not even be appropriate. It would be like a river flowing backwards. It wouldn't set the flow in motion. Oftentimes the person who gives you a gift is because s/he already has a excess of the entity. The person providing us is not always the best recipient of our gifts. It would be counter to nature. It would probably make more sense if pass on the our gifts to someone else and set this flow of life in motion.

Gender Diversity

Ended up discussing the push for gender diversity at workplaces. I don't agree that this is a means to set things right. Why do such topics make me so passionate, even agitated?

A part explanation could be the fact that all my accomplishments, however humble are well earned and have been on no account due to my age, sex, religion, caste and the like. I hate to have such 'drives' give ammunition to those people who think otherwise. Such drives take away some of the sweetness of my hard-earned personal victories.

Success

Most of the time success drives a person to excel and do even better next time. It is the proverbial carrot for the efforts. And yet, if a person faces regular success for a long enough time to make it a habit, the fear of failure - the fear of not being 'successful' can become potent enough to prevent experimenting and making the person stick to the 'more known' and 'less risky' path. Without evolution, with experimenting, success if hard to come by, thereby accelerating the path away from success.

Perfection

Nature is perfect and yet, perfection itself is unnatural.
Kind of strange :-)

Perfection is a tricky subject.
If used as means of motivation to do better, it is priceless. However oftentimes, the stress of trying to achieve perfection can take away the sense of achievement and pleasure in a well done fun activity. In the worst case, a person is can give up because perfection is unachievable and anything else is not good enough.

Agreed that 100% is better than 99% but if all the way is impossible to reach even half way through is better than not attempting.

(Otherwise none of us would have cleared our school and college, we'd be forever stuck in some grade trying to achieve the perfect scores!)

in continuation ..

of my previous post on 'personal mountains to climb'.

Part of a manager's job allocating the right mountain to the right person.
What is right for a person would depend on their capability, maturity, risk-taking, attitude, experience and so many other things that make each person unique.

Too high to climb would be demotivating as would too low. Wrong planning would lead to 'accidents' and free fall.

What is better?

What is better?
Scaling the heights of a small mountain or reaching half way through to the highest peak?
Even when the effort required for the job is same, what is preferred? being mediocre at a tough job or being the best at a relatively easy job?

It guess it depends on personal choice and what matters to a person.

If the person is motivated by success the best way would be starting with a small mountain, conquering it and repeating with a higher peak each time. This ensures both success and satisfaction.

If a person is motivated by the act of climbing itself, the challenge of reaching higher, and not so much by the destination in the form of the peak, it is preferred that the person starts with a high enough mountain to scale and feel exhilarated all through the climb. There is no specific target and the person can scale as high as they can.

So also with work. Whether to join a top-notch company and always on the toes to prove your worth or of join a mediocre company and be a star!

Stereotypes..

There is nothing more inpiring than the crumbling of an archiac stereotype.

Once such 'moment' I encountered a few days back ..

A women in her 50s talking on her cellphone without a headset while driving a stick-shifting Honda-CRV in traffic and seemingly at ease.

Why is it iconoclastic --
- Its not like every other car on the road is a Honda-CRV
- much less a woman driving it
- even less, a woman in her 50s
- while talking on the her cellphone
- without a headset
- and also maneuvering the stick-shift in traffic at the same time
- and most of all, showing no signs of stress, hurry or discomfort..

Yet another analogy ..

There seems to be a perfect analogy between Food and Movies ..

Some like it spicy with lots of 'masala' and yet others like it like it boiled and bland!
And just using the same spices, like not all 'chaatwalas' can tingle the taste buds, also also with movie directors/actors. Even a master chef/director have their good or bad days.

If you have the same fare for a long time, the taste wears off and you have to keep trying new stuff.

There's a pattern to my blog

Most of my blog entries are related to patterns and analogies, so it makes sense to update the title ...

Power and Control

I always maintain that I have no need for power, and I yet I have an inherent need to be in control.

Is there a contradiction? After some thought I have the most convincing reasoning that I have found points to the fine distinction between power and control.

If life is car, control is the steering wheel and power is the gear/accelerator/clutch combo.
I care about where I am going, not necessarily how fast or in which gear.

Cast and Typecast

I forced the doctor to prematurely remove my cast - it felt too much of a constraint, icky and stinky; understandably my walk feel funny and wobbly and worst of all it hurts.

This made me think of the parallels between our mind and bodies.

We put cast/plasters on to specific areas with a specific purpose. They support or restrict our join/muscle motion and prevent injury, stress or pain.

So also with out opinions. They are no more than a 'cast' on our thinking. What purpose do they serve? Maybe to prevent us from stress or thinking too much, maybe as a mode self preservation. And yet, even though they serve our purpose, to someone outside our mind, they stink!

When the cast it cut, normal things like wriggling our toes or the sensation of water on the skin are an exhilarating experience, so also when suddenly we remove the 'typecast' in the mind - it can quite stimulating!

After the 'cast' is removed, normal things like walking can be scary and hurtful. It isn't too different with the tearing down of metal shackles. It feels unfamiliar, is intimidating and it hurts. And just like there is a need to bandage for some more time after the removal of the plaster, one probably need reassurance and support to break down the mental barriers.

We are usually very accommodating of other people's physical cast - we give them all the support they need to tide over the time, get strong and get back on their feet; And yet it is so hard to be accepting of the mental casts and give people the help they need to be strong enough to break out of their mental typecasts.

Why am I writing this?

.. given the fact that I am neither looking for a change nor looking to hire..

After an interview ..

If you check the status of your interview, you are too desperate, if you don't you not interested.

Workplace!

When you think about it - there are similarities between your -
- a workplace and an eatery .. work and food ..

You go to a place for different reasons, either because you like the food, the price or the ambience.



- the food can be fancy or home-made or a unique recipe (start up??)
- ambience can vary from the casual to the formal, friendly to the oppressive
- might go to a place by choice or because there is not alternative. Then again, you might go by habit or because you dislike changes
- some have a buffet style while others put you the hands of the chef


However the food, whatever the place, unless you can trust the chef - its no good.

EQ

IQ : Intelligence Quotient -> indicator of the extent of intelligence
EQ : Emotional Quotient -> indicator of how emotional you are :-)

Bitter pill

Feedback is a means for remediation when things aren't going as expected. When people are brutal in their feedback they need to realize the medicine analogy.

A bitter pill may be more effective but a little sugar alongside will go a long way in getting someone to take the pill in the first place.

Apples and Oranges..

People often quote "You can't compare apples with oranges!"
Every time I hear this I suppress the urge to retort back and ask, "Why not?"

As long as you have identified the context/attribute for the comparison you can very well compare them (or anything else for that matter)

For beginners :
- you can easily compare the Vita A, B, C etc. content in each of them
- you can compare the Sugar, Iron, Sodium, Cal, Mag etc. content in each of them
- you can compare the price and availability in a shop
- you can compare their weight, density, texture
- you can compare which is easier to grow in a particular soil/climate
- you can compare which is more susceptible to a particular disease/rot
- you can compare what make a better diet recommendation based on a person's condition
- you can compare which of these fruit has more juice for the same quantity
- you can compare which stays longer with and without refrigeration

What the heck, you can even compare which taste you like better!

Women's day madness..

Women's day madness is catching up everywhere. Companies are outdoing each other in showing that they care about their 'women' employees and shower them with gifts etc. To me it sounds no different from the hype and madness of 'Valentine's Day'.

I am a woman and even if I had a choice, I'd still chose to be one. I feel, act, live, enjoy as a woman but that make me neither inferior nor superior in any way. I have enjoyed many a wonderful conversations with a friend of mine. And yet, oftentimes I hear him say - 'You sound too much like a guy!'. Its meant as a compliment but it touches a raw nerve.

Am I too much of a feminist? What is a feminism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism)
Going by : "feminism is a belief in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes" - I am an emphatic feminist.

But this does not mean I am the same as a man. Equality is not the same as being identical. Men and Women are different and can celebrate the differences and still be equal.

(All these conferences and workshops are no more than a lot of 'gyan' that I could do without. Don't give me 'gyan' about being a woman and waste my time. Don't tell me of how good and tough I am, my triumphs and the tribulations, I live through them every day. I love it all and would have it no other way. I have my special privileges and I have my unique challenges. Take these lectures to the families of women and maybe it would make a difference, something these conferences certainly will not)

To each his own ..

Each person has a unique way of working. Each one attaches different values to different aspects of their work life :

- What they do
- How they do
- Who asks them to do
- How much for what they do
.. and many many more

What they do : Technology
Some people get hung up on the technology or content aspect of their work and make a strong distinction between 'good work 'and 'bad work' - cool work and crappy work etc. They want to work on the latest technologies because they happen to be the cutting-edge technologies, not because they are better suited for the particular work. Technology becomes the end goal rather than a means to achieve a goal.

How they do : Process
Some people are all gung-ho about the proper way of doing things. All they care about is that the process be defined, followed, created, reproducible, documented and the like. While it is all for the good, they sometimes (oftentimes) lose sight of the fact that these process are created for a purpose and are not the purpose in themselves .

Who asks they to do : Hierarchy
Then there a people who would do/not do a certain task depending on who ask them to do it. It can usually be assumed that something coming from your parents/Sr. management etc is more serious than your friend/colleague etc. saying the same thing. Nothing really wrong in it. The pain comes during the crunch times when the luxury of the message coming 'through-proper-channels' isn't necessarily there.

How much for what they do : Money
I don't care about what you make me work on as long as you pay me and pay me well! All very well except that this becomes the very reason for doing the least wanted job and eventually never grow out and above - even in the monetary sense - the very reason which made you take this job in the first place becomes the reason you get stuck.

Each person needs to find the right balance of all that is important to them and their work in their job spheres.

Theory of Comparative advantage and micromanagement

Comparative advantage was first described in an essay on the corn trade. It was to England's advantage to trade various goods with Poland in return for corn, even though it might be possible to produce that corn more cheaply in England than Poland.

The details available at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparative_advantage

------
Micro management is more common than is obvious.

So often you'll see team leads doing the role of engineers, managers doing the work of leads (even engineers), and directors micro managing managers and so on. Maybe (note maybe) they do it better than the people they manage but it doesn't necessarily follow that they much do it just because they do it better (or think that they do it better!)

Setting aside the cliched (though sensible) arguments like - let your team learn from the mistakes etc; it makes business sense for people to to do they own job and leave their team's job to the team - even at the perceived penalty of doing it less efficiently, less quality etc.

Given your limited resources of time and scalability, The law of comparative advantage kicks in. The overall advantage of you doing your job is much higher than you doing the role of someone else who is lower in the food chain. This comparative advantage more than offsets the penalty of your team doing what you would do potentially better, faster, cooler, whatever!

---
What happens if you can do your staff's role better than they can and if you don't have enough work for yourself? should you?
Unless you are paid very poorly (in which case you should anyway leave your job) you run the risk of not adding enough value to justify your cost and should start looking for a better match between your price and value.

Birth Order

Of all the theories that claim to explain human behavior I have found Transaction Analysis the easiest to understand.

Explaining personalities in terms of relative size of 'parent', 'adult' and 'child' is easy to grasp. A child brings spontaneity, creativity and unadulterated emotions - the felt concept of life. A parent brings a sense of authority, nurturing, criticism - the taught concept of life. An adult is our ability to think and determine actions based on data - it is what brings in the thought concept of life.

Relationships and manifested in interactions between various components in different people. Intimacy, conflict, dependence, games, all are explained as interactions between adult-adult, child-child/parent-parent, child-parent or ulterior transactions.

I have observed for quite some time a pattern and correlation between a person and his/her birth order. Only now it occurs to me that probably the reason why the birth order has an impact on a person is because it determines how dominant are the parent/adult/child in our personalities.

When a couple has their first child, they are still unsure of what to expect. Their behavior is tentative, they strive hard to become the world's best parent. They want everything to be perfect. The child is always in the spotlight, her behavior under a scanner, to be analyzed to the minutest details. Under close supervision which inevitably leads to excessive nurturing and/or criticism, the child develops a big PARENT component.

The opposite happens in case of the youngest child. The parents by now are seasoned pros in child rearing and no longer fret over an upset stomach. They are no longer panic at the child starting late to walk and no longer work hard to make sure the child has mastered the alphabets in their second year itself. They are more able to enjoy the child as a child. Without any pressure on either themselves or the child to prove that they are capable. The child on account of elder sibling and (by now) more mature parents is pampered. As a result of being the baby of the family, child has a big CHILD component in their personalities.

The in-between children are of course more balanced. And not to forget that a lot depends on the parents themselves and the unique circumstances of the child.

Neither a big CHILD nor a big PARENT component is good/bad in themselves. They just bring a different quality to the table.

Pattern Matching .. intuition continued

Whoever said software is all about logic - wasn't too far away from truth!

What is Intuition?
A black-boxed, custom built proprietary pattern matching algorithm used for predicting. It can be fine tuned over time but is near impossible to reverse engineer. It is certainly not collaborative and license is tied to the owner.

What is reasoning and logic?
An open-sourced, collaborative pattern matching algorithm for predicting and coming to conclusions. It is generic and richer but of times too many incompatible versions available simultaneously leading to confusion. No licensing requirements and anyone is free to use.

Sounds familiar??

The tough thing is deciding when to go for the proprietary model and when to use open source :)

Intuition..

The most important gut-feeling that a person needs is to know is when to trust your gut-feeling ..

Working ..

When you think of it, there is a reason why exercising is called working out. There are so many parallels.

First and foremost, different people have different reasons for working out, some do it for the sake of doing it, some enjoy doing it, some do it for the end results and some are advised/initiated by their family/friends/doctors into taking it up.

Some people love working out in a gym while others like to do it within the confines of their home. Each person has its own set of favorite equipment and exercises. Some like to stretch out on a mat while the others sweat it out on the treadmill. There are those who find the gym ball fun while other might like to do the weights. Just like each work is important but different so also the different form of exercising. Who is to say that aerobics is better than yoga or weights training. It depends on your attitude, aptitude , metabolism, body type, unique circumstances and most certainly what you are trying to achieve. Depending on your attitude you might prefer to go solo on a treadmill or join a group for kick boxing.

Some enjoy the process all along while others can wait to finish it and get done. Some do it with music while others are totally focussed on the dials. Some micromanage each micro-gram and calorie while others lose focus of what it was that got them into this and do anything at random.

To some it is a form or relaxation and for others it means a lot of pushing and pumping to feel the rush of the adrenalin. Some love all the action and excitement that it adds to their life while others to calm their frayed nerves.

Some come to run away from others while others join a gym to meet more people. The way you chose where to work(out) depends on various factors, the equipments, cost, timing, culture, availability, distance or simple brand recognition - and there are those who just like to 'belong' to a cool club.

Some are self driven and push themselves to newer limits each time. Others need the goading from the trainers to continue. Just like at work, a good trainer/companion can have a lasting impact and make all the difference between loving it or hating - not to forget success or failure. Doing it wrong or not following the rules can be disastrous.

Different people achieve different amount of success. Then again, different have different goals and define success differently. Take the case of the simple treadmill. Each person chooses a different workout with the exact same equipment - just like at work. They choose a different program, a different timeout, a different gradient, a different speed. Some do it fast but don't last long. There are others who are slow but go far. Some others ramp up fast while others like to go gently. Some put a time limit (9-5??) while some put a limit in the form of calories (Finish this work and go). Some would work hard enough until they get their hearts pumping!

Just like at work, if you are doing all right, you go achieve a higher goal each time. The fitness level just like success at work is a factor of many things, your training, your trainer, your hard work, the right equipment/tools, your perseverance, your metabolism (smartness??) . Just like at work, experience and age play some role but only some.

I could go on and on .. I love analogies, patterns, abstract stuff but I guess its enough for now.

Of mice and men

There is story of two mice, here goes,

Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. There was no way out of the bucket. One mouse gave up right away and drowned. But in the face of hopelessness, the other mouse kicked and struggled anyway. He kicked so hard he churned that cream into butter and then he walked out of the bucket.

Are the lives of men (and women) really too different from that of these proverbial mice? Aren't we all struggling in our lives - churning and kicking, some faster than the others, with only a few of walking out of the bucket of life and only a few giving up and sinking.