Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Belonging vs Standing apart

A friend recently read my blog and commented about how one of my very old favorite books was missing my list of all time favorite books. I gave a simple answer that I have outgrown the book and that was the end of the matter. And yet, it wasn't as simple as that. Back of my mind I was still searching as to why such an important book was missing. Was it really outgrowing in the sense that those concepts that moved me at a certain age/time/place no longer have the same effect or is it that they provided a certain need and I have no longer that need.

Once thought that keeps bothering me is that maybe I never did not enjoy the book as much as I 'thought' I did. Perchance, I psyched myself into believing this since it was the 'IN' thing to do. I had a need to belong to an exclusive club and these books were a visa/passport. Over the past decade or more, my needs have changed from belonging to standing apart, differentiating myself and its like a visa to a club that I have knowingly not renewed because I don't care to go there/belong anymore.

I would hate to think of myself a hypocrite. And maybe I am not, maybe I have forgotten the impact of these books from so long ago, I should read and reevaluate my impressions.

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