Life : Ups and Downs

Occured to me as I wrote a mail ..

Ups and Downs in life are a good indicator of the fact that life neither ignoring you, nor passing you by..

Games and Sports

Why is "Playing Games" bad but "Being a Sport" good?

Games are associated with more 'fun' and less 'competition' so why does "Playing Games" have a negative connotation?

Generation Gap : Another look

I had brought up generation gap earlier, this is another look at the same thing from a different vantage point. And they don't contradict :-)

People are in different stages of evolution (for want of a better word) at any point of time. I would like to think of them as :
- Dependence
- Independence
- Inter-dependence
- Indifference

Generation Gap is quite literally a Generation/Development Gap!

"Generation Gap" happens when two people happen to be in different 'evolutionary stages which leads to a conflict of values and differentiated view points.

As examples :
If I am at the stage/generation where I value Independence and the other person is at a stage/generation where they value Inter-Dependence, I would take every effort by the other person for a synergistic relationship or mutual dependence as a threat on my Independence and react sharply. This is what I think is a "Generation Gap". Once I grow and start believing in the benefits of synergies without fear or threat, I would behave differently and in the process overcome the gap.

Same goes for a young child - still very dependent and the parent who is independent. Here too there is mismatch in the developmental stages which could lead to a lack of understanding.

Generation gap is a natural process and wanes (or grows) with time and experience.

Tough choice..

Life often metes out unfair, tough choices ..

.. like the one between the tedium of not doing Vs the fatigue of over-doing
.. the balance is just a chimera ..

Shapes of food

Why is it called a "Square Meal"?
How does it fit in a not so square stomach?



Origin

Two sides of the same coin ..

People often use the phrase "Two sides of the same coin"

When they talk about the two sides they are essentially focusing on the surface area and overlooking the thickness/depth of the coin which gives the coin its weight and volume.

We need to learn to ignore the surface/superficial and start looking at the weight/depth of the matter.

Quick Thought

Its funny how for some people the definition of personal space is to be able to recede into their shell and for the others it is to go really far away, outside of their current existence.

The thing to note is that in both the cases the attempt is to go away from the current, the difference is only in the direction of the movement - inside or outside.

Pruning

RIFs, Lay-offs, Cost-cutting, by any name are painful.

The topic came back recently and had me thinking that they really are no different from pruning. People will have different opinions about whether or not it is required and they will have different views on how much and where to prune for best results. Needless to say too much pruning can kill the tree unceremoniously just like too little can be impact less.

There is no magic in pruning, a seasoned gardener know wheres to cut, how much to cut and also importantly the right season to cut so that the tree can flourish after such a severe impact.

What about the branches that are shed? so thanklessly cast away?

If the severed branch is strong and healthy and are capable of growing from 'cuttings' this gives them an opportunity to grow into independent trees rather than branches of a dying tree.

If they happen to find an accomplished gardener, they might be 'grafted' into another tree growing 'hybrid' exotic plants; better and more useful that either the base tree or the branch which is grafted.

A cut is a disruptive event, it need not be destructive.

AC/DC

OK, so this one is really weird but I can't hep myself from penning this, so here goes..

There are tons of analogies for men and women, Martian and Venusians being a very popular one. How about AC and DC?

Women are like AC with lows and highs, peaks and pits, men by comparison more like DC and less fluctuating and more constant.

Points to ponder
- Debate about what is better, AC or DC would never cease
- AC has alternating polarity while DC has constant polarity
- AC magnitude and direction is variable while both are constant for DC voltage
- AC is easy to easy to step up or down
- AC current is capable of transformation (due to induced emf) unlike DC current
- AC current has more losses compared to DC
- Nothing can stop the AC, not even a straight wall .. eh .. capacitor

The clinching evidence ..
- AC currents can be more dangerous than similar levels of DC current since the alternating fluctuations can cause the heart to lose coordination
- Analysis of AC system always involved complex numbers, while DC is only a real number

One of my favorite analogies

I find that one of the best analogies of all time is that of the six blind men and the elephant.

Blind men think of an elephant as a pillar, rope, tree branch, fan, wall or pipe depending on which part of the elephant they touched. Each is right and yet at the same time also wrong. The concept of right and wrong is very much entwined with the context of relativity. What is right for one isn't necessary so for the other. So often, a part truth is actually closer to falsehood and causes more harm than good.

I find this analogy also applicable in the context of my work.

Eachdomain (Dev, QA, Docs, Marketing, Sales, PM - etc.) happen to be the (not so blind) men looking at the product from their perspective alone. Losing sight of the whole picture, sometimes by choice, sometimes otherwise. Each concentrates in understanding their part of the picture and executing on it really well. Frequently there are disagreements between teams because each comes from a different perspective depending on the function they have touched. Each team needs to get deep into their stuff and make it strong. The executive team needs to take a whole picture view and delineate the elephant (product) for what it is, not a sum of its part but much more complete whole.

On a side note, when Sr. Management goes deep into one aspects, it does so at the risk of losing the complete picture

When the domain experts start looking too much at the big picture/top view, they do so at the risk of leaving one aspect weak.

Nothing has changed..

Its been a year since I moved to my new job and nothing has changed.

I continue to miss my old place and am still in love with my (not so) new job. The two places continue to be as diametrically opposite as ever.

Its been quite a ride and I have survived so far .. and look forward to another year of roller-coaster fun ..

Opposites attract?

Some people we like because they are so much like us,
Some people we like because they are so different from us?

And the other way round works just as well, I know of many people who are very similar to me and yet I don’t fancy them too much, as well as people quite the opposite of me and those who I hold high in my regard.

It is neither a straightforward case of likes attracting or opposites complementing each other.

I guess this has more to do with the inherent qualities of a person rather than likes attracting or repelling.

If people exhibit traits similar to ours, but those qualities that we don’t care too much about, it’s a case of similar people not getting along well.
If people embody traits that we look up to, even though we might lack them ourselves, it’s a case of opposites attracting

Generation Gap

I wonder often about generation gap, its origin and impact.

A generation gap exists when different people (due to age, circumstances etc) have a different sense of responsibilities, privileges, values and behavior, both for themselves and for others.

I believe that these differences in themselves are harmless and what causes the conflict is duplicity of standards and applying different parameters for self and others.

In the traditional parent-teenager conflict, the parents have a different sense of what is right for them vs the kids. Its OK for them to eat junk food, drink, smoke whatever but they recoil at the thought of their kids emulating them. Same goes the other way round, if parents start dressing/behaving the way the kids do, kids would find it very embarrassing. Between siblings,
the youngsters want to enjoy the privilege of being spoilt and pampered and yet they do not want it to come with any strings attached, with any list of dos-and-donts or I-told-you-so. Elders on the other hand want the younger siblings to listen to them and do as they are told without letting them experiment and learn on their own like they did years ago.

The conflict arises when each side has a distinct image of how the other should behave and yet oddly they do not want to conform to the same image themselves. This duplicity is what causes the conflict, not the differences.

Parallax

Just occurred to me that parallax effect is not limited to the physical space. It is quite as applicable to the mental space.

So what is parallax?
The difference in appearance or position of an object when viewed from two different locations.

Impact of parallax?
- Observation is relative your position
- If you move, you perceive that the object under observation moves relative to you
- The difference in the angle of sight between the right eye and the left eye creates a parallax, our brain considers the parallax and gives a perception of depth perception.

Isn't it also true of our mental perceptions?
- We judge differently depending on our own positions.
- Our perceptions vary with time as we change or move on
- Most of all having contrasting view points (or eyes) gives us a better depth and understanding

Morals and Ethics

Is there a difference between the two?

I can sense a subtle but important difference by find it hard to verbalize and point out exactly.

The way I see it is (which could be totally off the mark)

Ethics : relate to code of conduct and the generally accepted good practices
Morals : relate to concept of what is right and wrong

Ethics guide as to what is acceptable to a group (company, society, country, family etc)
Morals are individual oriented and more ambiguous than ethics. What is 'moral' for one might not be so for another (take vegetarianism for e.g.)

Probably 'shared' set of morals over a period of time which get codified as ethics.

Elusive Nirvana

Life is a constant tug-of-war between belonging and standing apart.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is depicted as a pyramid (copied from Wikipedia) starting at Physiological -> Safety -> Love/Belonging -> Esteeem -> Self-Actualization.

Even though I don’t completely disagree with the theory, I don’t think it is as straight and simple as is depicted by a pyramid. My observations show that it is range of mountains to conquer rather than a peak to surmount.

Each starts off with their own pyramids to climb. Given that each of us is unique in our preferences, needs, circumstances, our pyramids differ. Each one has different footprints for the 5 components that make our needs (physiological, safety, love, esteem, self-actualization). We constantly strive to climb to the top of our pyramids. And yet, as we climb up, on the way and in the process, we change our circumstances, our environment, our needs and hence the pyramid itself. The pyramid is a dynamic entity.

To simplify, we start on our climb up, we acquire the basic needs and finally a sense of belonging to our environment. Once we belong, we immediately strive to be perceived as 'unique' - a class apart, probably this comes from trying to fulfill the need for 'esteem'. As we acquire a sense of esteem and associated uniqueness, we start disassociating ourselves from our current environment and start identifying with a different set of people/ class/ society/ circumstances. As the dissociation becomes stronger, we hop on to the new environment.

In the new environment with all its associated 'newness' and awkwardness (which is really a new or modified pyramid) we start the same cycle by trying hard to belong .. And then to prove that we are unique and finally un-belong by moving to a yet another pyramid.

This is the circle of life - two steps forward, one step back. The 'Nirvana' or "Self Actualization' remains for ever far and elusive.

Yoke and Yolk

Shuffling through my old stuff, caught an old analogy of mine ..

We all start with a fragile shell and a gooey yolk, depending on how life cooks us we end up being hard boiled, soft boiled, poached, scrambled or beaten!

There is nothing either weak or strong, but thinking makes it so ..

Who is to say what is a strength or a weakness? I have long noticed that my strengths are my weaknesses and my greatest weakness of times my biggest strengths. There are many who will give testimony to the fact that they cannot counter tears which are in fact a symbol of weakness and yet, in their own way also the person's strength.

Reminds me of the story of the mighty Oak tree vs a blade of grass. When put through a storm, the Oak is upright, resistant and finally uprooted, the grass bends but survives, who is to stay which is stronger? Stubbornness or resoluteness are both two sides of the same trait. It can be both a symbol of strength in sticking around in difficult situations and yet is also in some way a weakness at being inflexible. Knowledge is power but often I have realized that 'not knowing' is also a strength since it come with no preconceived ideas and is able to bring an fresh/individual perspective. So we fret at being only a mere generalist and lacking specialization that could set us apart, and yet, this generalization is also a value we bring to any task. It helps us see the overall view which gets missed by an expert deep inside in one area. And yet specialization mostly certainly is a strength in itself.

Strength and weakness depends on the particular circumstances, how it is applied and most of all in what it is believed to be - a strength or weakness.

Go with the flow

I am like a river, I have nothing of my own. What I get I pass on, no less, no more.

If I river passes on more water than it gets from the mountains it become dry and shrivelled, if it gets too much or keeps too much without passing on the gift, it swells and become obnoxious and destructive. It can take pride in bringing life and prosperity to all around its path and yet, it does nothing more than pass on the gift of the mountains and the glaciers. If the mountains take pride in filling up the river with sparking cool waters, it really does nothing but pass on what it gets from the skies. If the skies where to swell on showering the mountains with pure white snow, they do it only because of the infinite depth of the bitter, salty waters of the seas which boil over and fills the skies and makes life possible for everyone.

As with a river, so also with life. We need to go with the flow. When we get a gift, it is impossible to repay the person who helped us, it might not even be appropriate. It would be like a river flowing backwards. It wouldn't set the flow in motion. Oftentimes the person who gives you a gift is because s/he already has a excess of the entity. The person providing us is not always the best recipient of our gifts. It would be counter to nature. It would probably make more sense if pass on the our gifts to someone else and set this flow of life in motion.

Gender Diversity

Ended up discussing the push for gender diversity at workplaces. I don't agree that this is a means to set things right. Why do such topics make me so passionate, even agitated?

A part explanation could be the fact that all my accomplishments, however humble are well earned and have been on no account due to my age, sex, religion, caste and the like. I hate to have such 'drives' give ammunition to those people who think otherwise. Such drives take away some of the sweetness of my hard-earned personal victories.